Unemployed no more!

Finally, after a month or four I no longer belong to the lingering crowd of the unemployed, waiting by the phone and searching for yet another job website to try their luck on.

From Thursday onwards I am a happy VIBE vzw-employee (the Flemish Institute for Bio-Ecologic Construction and Living). I will play the role of marketing and communications employee. This means... experience in both fields, a job that connects with my private interests (ecology and living; decoration and stuff), a workplace close to home (a half an hour on the bus) and tching tching :-p Financial independence here I come!

This is an employer I can really go for. It's ethical, it's a bit of an underdog position, it's small and friendly and casual! Down-to-earth people and a messy but cosy office in Berchem.

Now is the time to go buy that nice office plant I've had in mind for some months now! And I can hang my beautiful 'Muscha' (the painter)-calendar next to my desk! Decoration city baby! Nesting has never been so fun.

There are some practicalities that need to be sorted out, though. For instance, my driver's license, which was kindof a prerequisite for the job. I've got the temporal one and I ordered driving lessons, but those are all scheduled in the day time. Might have to be revised... After twenty lessons I'm allowed to test drive by myself... of course if they are willing to wait three months, so am I, because those lessons are all but affordable!

Then there's people to notify! My brain was the first one to be informed. I got the call while I was on the move (typical) and was mentally stunned for like a half hour after the news. I just didn't get what the ramifications were. Still don't fully must admit :-) After that I phoned my parents and grandparents and now I just sent a mail to some friends.

And for the administrative stuff: the RVA (employment agency), child support people etc have to be called, papers have to be drawn up and signed, statusses have to be changed... It'll all be ok. But I will not have full peace of mind until I put my signature on the contract. That's why I'm so glad I can start Thursday already. Luckily I do have one day to get my act together and recuperate from the big news.

Sorry I was quiet for so long. Can't promise to write more frequently seeing as the next couple of weeks are probably gonna be busy busy.

Kinda already had a trip scheduled mid-March... One week in the Ardens in Bois-le-comte, a kind of spiritual resort that houses all kinds of courses for conscious people and serves macrobiotic food, yummy! Curious if they're gonna let me go. Anyway, it's not paid for yet, so no drama there. That's the thing with applying, you live day by day, without certainty, constantly at employers' back and call and with no ability to plan anything. But no more! I am now a respectable member of society ;-)

oxox
me

PS: Thursday's also the first day of my T'ai Chi class. Hope it's gonna be the thing for me!

Further but no clearer

So... I quit school. Started learning the basics of html through weblearning at the vdab (job guidance and learning government centre). At least there I don't have to pretend to be sick every time I get called up for an interview. They even encourage it! Hurrah! And it's only forenoons, so time left for studying for my driver's licence and scouting the infinite internet for the few scarce editor and communications jobs in my region.

First application didn't work out. Not sad bout it though, wasn't exactly the employer of my dreams. Going for a better one now: writer for a youth lifestyle website. I'd be in charge of the economic part. Interview went well. Now for the personality test and consultant chat this Tuesday... And after that possibly some more goodies: an assessment *shake shake* and another talk with a jury. How fun is that! Nowadays it seems like you have to kill someone in order to get a job (you like). Why did I work so hard the last three years? Only to have to prove myself once again before the eyes of the unwilling recruiters. "Hey, I don't even want your job that bad!"...

All they do is demand and ask for the imposible, while the work circumstances are all but perfect. They never fail to mention that any employee should be flexible, able to cope with stress and assertive. Make no mistake about it: the work floor is a hostile environment. Or at least that's what they make applicants believe. Everybody scaring "us" all the time. "You thought school was tough? Try this!' and similar quotes shake you to the foundation. I thought the hard part was over :-)

Other fun remark: "If you thought applying was hard work, try the first days on the job. Taking in new info at a speed you never thought was possible, including all names and histories of co-workers" *sigh* First there's the head ache and stress from studying, then the powerlessness and frustration the application period brings along, only to arrive at the tiring first days to take over and wear you out. A burn-out at twenty-one never seemed so plausible.

Yes, i am being bleak, and things are usually not as bad as they seem in my head. And of course I make them even more juicy in writing, because normal situations just aren't as interesting. Let's never stop relativating and try to find some calm, peace and self-worth in this hectic world we call home.

Good luck to you all, and may you find happiness in daily life!
x
me

PS: The good part is: NO MORE HOMEWORK! Lovely...

Back to the future

Ever have that feeling that the future is interweaving with past and present?
Because I'm not totally happy with my status quo, I'm diligently organizing a change. Meanwhile I rediscovered a sonore element from the past that takes me back to moments in memory, that are as much painful as they are beautiful. (I read an interview with Belgian artist Bart Peeters and got an older CD of his at the library... my ex-boyfriend suddenly developed a taste for his music in the last months of our relationship)

My current status as studet at the St-Mary Institute in Antwerp didn't quite turn out as I had hoped. My co-students seem to be one more talented at drawing and designing than the other, which is normal, but they all have something in common, in my eyes at least: a never relenting aversion for effort... There's this dutch expression: 'rather lazy than tired' (quick translation :-) I think it applies to most of them. I thought, hey, they're continuing their studies in the higher educational platform in a very practical field, they must have ambition... I thought wrong.

Their alleged laziness and let's face it, sometimes stupidity - except for two members, whose names I'll keep to myself, but are noted in my mind as pleasant 'others' - makes me lose ambition and become lazy aswel. This is something I want to avoid at all costs!

Add to that the lack of infrastructure the school suffers from and the silent protest that the teachers use as a final means of influence, and you will see why my discontentment is growing. (Computer lesson are suspended till proper infrastructure is supplied... the new macs are here, now for the beamer... Real lessons start nex week... Will this make me see things more merrily? Will it make me want to stay? Or doubt again? I hate doubt...) They're just a different kind of person (most people are :-). And I'm still looking to find a crowd that meets my nature better.

And I must say, even though I'm opposed to racism and prejudice, the neighbourhood the school is located in isn't exactly all that. Lots of poor people and foreigners and frequent police surveillance... Not in the reassuring way, but in the way that makes you feel like the criminal.

So what measures am I taking? I started plowing through the fields of the internet to find an interesting job. After all, I already have a diploma, what's stopping me? And learning isn't excluded once you start working. I informed for evening school studies in the graphical field and found an interesting offer in the Academy for fine arts in Antwerp. It starts early September and lessons are given three days a week from 18 till 22h30. But hey, if I should encounter the right kind of employer, maybe he'll give me permision to take the lessons and/or practise during my hours...

I found five interesting jobs so far, that I applied for by e-mail. One I have already received a reply from. An invitation of one sentence long that said I was welcome to come and present myself at the 'interim office' (or whatever the English term is), the job house if you will :-) But the ones that are located in Brussels are going to make it pretty damn hard to make it to the lessons at 18h...

Oh right, and when am I supposed to have my dinner then? Better get a job in Antwerp then... or eat on the job or bus (handy... not!). One of the jobs I applied for was in Antwerp, though.

Am so curious to see what the future brings.

Must say my criteria make the job hunt a lot more difficult. I've had to give in in certain fields. For instance I found two in Brussels. The fact that they aren't 'full' jobs, three quarters of the full schedule or something, makes the long trip more bearable, because the hours are compensated elsewhere. Of course, the pay is probably adjusted to the schedule :-)
But hey, no mortgage yet, so :-)

Then there is one in Zaventem. A job as 'editor' for GRANDE travel magaine. Very interesting, but a long trip (an hour and a half to two hours)... but maybe I can read on the bus (luckily you can get there by simply taking two buses instead of switching to a train or something)

Next, the one in Antwerp, very nice aswel, but they didn't mention the possibility of hiring 'starters' (newly graduated folks like yours truly)...

And the one I discovered first and got invited to, in Kontich (very near my home base). Too bad it's the one that interests me least at first sight... But it might be OK. To quote a famous individual 'You never know what you're gonna get'... Oh so true. Everything can sound good on paper. Having studies advertising, one should have come to that conclusion :-)

The funny thing is that advertising attracts me a lot less than just a few months or even weeks ago. All the jobs I applied for are either editorial or communications jobs in companies, but never in advertising agencies or communications offices... Strange isn't it :-)

The commercial drive of the others just makes me feel like the pressure's going to be too big. I function well all by myself, extra stress is not needed at all.

One thing that scares me is that it doesn't seem like any employer is planning on making a big effort to teach a new employee the ways of the firm. And that's really too bad, because it increases the feeling of belonging and satisfaction, and return on investment too :-)

I think I'll stop typing now. The excitement and horror of an uncertain existence is making me tired and my head blurry. As you might have noticed, my English is a bit watery today. Or is that because stupid St-Mary doesn't seem to want to start up the language classes that were mentioned in the brochure *sigh*

And I don't wanna tell my dad I'm applying yet because I'm afraid he'll get mad... He just paid for the stuff I invested in for school (drawing materials and such) and now I'm kinda changing my mind after having put so much effort into convincing him that further graphical studies were a good idea.

I'm really not planning on leaving the idea though. I still am interested in the graphical world. It's just that I don't feel like I'm going to learn as much as I could or should in that school. Maybe self-study or evening classes would be much more productive, though one can never be sure... Oh so much uncertainty.

This morning I was figitting in Illustrator and liking it, not for too long at a time of course or you'll get a cross-eyed look on your face. And I pondered, should I stay? But then I think of all the people there, just lingering, hanging out in the school, instead of putting ambition to work and realizing stuff... Assignments and not personal scribbles, I mean. That's what they do if they make it to the school gates, instead of staying in bed after yet another rough night of party hardy...

Never thought the clash with three-years-younger folks would be so great... It makes me feel a little old :-) But not bad. I'm just me, feeling my way through life. Trying hard and hoping for the best. And attempting to have some fun in the mean time, between all the worrying and pondering.

Ok, now I'm really gone.
See you! And wish me luck!
me

Human nature

Google, the all-knowing search engine, seems to be run by not so spectacularly clever people. Especially the human resources department has proven to possess at least one moronic member.

When you visit this link, you'll arrive at one of Google's job openings. If you ask me, the position of jobad-copywriter is available as well.

Incredible. You live in Belgium, Flanders to be exact. You speak Dutch, English, a good word of French and master the basics of the German language, but still it's not enough. They want you to know Belgian!

How are our southern neighbours going to pull this one off? If we can believe Mr. Yves Leterme, the Flemish minister-president, the French-speaking inhabitants of Belgium are incapable of learning Flemish. Are they ever going to be able to handle having to take in another one, an imaginary one even?

What a mess this country has become. There's Belgium, which is already no more than just a patch of land between some powerful nations like France and Germany. This tiny land we live in houses opinions that are so incompatible, that we are obligated to divide the country into not only districts (they are responsible for all topics related to land and economy), but also communities (they handle all matters concerning people and culture).

We have about six parliaments and as many governments if I'm not mistaking. Each of them holds a dozen or more members. Even with this enormous diplomatic force this little nation is still to find the first matter in which opinions are unanimous. Hence the term 'a Belgian compromise'. But even these compromises are a rare commodity.

A hidden war is being fought. Even the towns, provinces and villages participate. Lawyers chose the right carreer, because all these political entities are constantly suing each other. I'm talking about law cases that take years to resolve, eating away at the Belgian budget. Small fortunes are being spent on figuring out exactly who has to pay for some unsettled parking ticket!

When I receive my first pay check I'll shed a tear for the taxes that were deducted, because now I realize that I'm not just feeding our social security net or the funds for education, the road network, libraries and such, but also powerful white men's financial arsenal.

And don't even get me started on our royal family, or spark my sometimes feminist mind with the thought that all wars are born from the minds of men. Same goes for rigid religious dogmas and absurd social rules.

Such a strange gender, covering up and controlling women everywhere, but dribbling over half-naked and powerful females at thesame time.

Should we (read: women in general) conclude, break the rules and be admired? Yes, but don't, because breaking these rules will give them (read: evil macho men :-)- in their twisted mind - a pass to manipulate and abuse. How many times didn't we hear a rape being justified by the phrase 'she looked like a whore'?

What is this world coming to?

That is my comment, coming from my well-fed, clean and dressed self. Sitting in my desk chair, typing on my computer on my summer holiday from school. Yes, school, where I'm going again to study even beyond my bachelor diploma, because I don't quite care for the job I can have with this one. I'm a hypocrit, but then again, aren't we all? :-)

Define art

If there's one elusive subject, it's art. This abstract noun - with sometimes even abstract realizations, yuk - is one that is quite hard to define.

Let's see what 'Van Dale' has to say:
"The creative and original expression or exposition of thoughts or feelings in an often touching or shocking fashion." (fast translation, don't nag!)

I guess you could state the bottom line is that emotion drives art. This brings me to the difference between art and skill, or technique if you will. Gallons of craftmanship can't compensate a lack of emotional basis if what Van Dale says is truth. But can one really say a, for instance, architect that designs this incredible, beautiful and functional building isn't an artist? Does it depend on whether or not he attempted to put his 'creativity' (equally elusive term) or 'personality' in his oeuvre?

And what about advertising? Can this be called an art? The big difference with what most would call art is the fact that, if you play the game by the rules, advertising should be free of personal interpretation. Therefore advertising can never be art. It's designed for the receiver, not for the sender.

Obviously art has nothing to do with beauty. I think we'll all agree that there are a great deal of monstrosities in musea all over the world.

My question results from some pondering I did. It has everything to do with my future studies. Talking about school, my esthetics teacher started his lessons (6th year of high school if I'm not mistaking) with this exact question: 'what is the definition of art?'. The answer he cherished as his own was 'Whatever was made with the intention of being art'...

Well, dear reader(s), from this moment on, this blog is a work of art :-) It meets all criteria:
- I'm making an effort to express myself towards the world.
- I make it for myself in the first place, because let's be honest, I'm no Dan Brown.
- My intention is to write it in a creative manner (whether or not I succeed in doing this is not an issue right now)
- Starting from the paragraph above, it was even ment to be art.

So there you go... :-) Or not.

Let's summarize: emotion. So, no reason at all? If something is expressive, but well-thought-through at the same time, can it be art too? Or can something only be labeled art if it's a product of some instinctive, spontanious urge to create?

If art and creativity are things that come from the inside, what about 'art class'? Can one 'learn' to be creative? Can effort replace talent? Of course, all works of art required some level of effort to be made. But, imagine someone with a creativity level that approaches freezing point, if that person practises his or her ass off, can s/he be an artist as well?

This question popped up while I was thinking about a very particular type of expression: music. I personally admire people that can play a musical instrument wonderfully more than for instance amazing singers. The reason I came up with, is that a voice is something you are blessed or cursed with by mother nature. It takes practice to work it, but still. With instruments, everyone starts at zero!

Talent will of course facilitate the learning process and cause you to take it all in a lot quicker. Nevertheless I believe that it takes more work to play e.g. the piano very well, than learning to control your fabulous voice...

The thing is, if you don't have a great voice by nature, most won't keep working it anyway because they're not stimulated. Learning to play an instrument usually comes from an internal yearning that has nothing to do with your degree of talent. I think therefore people are inclined to put more effort into mastering brass, wood or other aids than their own vocal chords.

Can someone with no talent at all be taught to make music? Or art? Or does every form of it require at least a certain minimum of giftedness (is that a word?)

So many questions, so little answers... Next time on this blog, the meaning of life :-p

Hairdo's and don'ts

Redheads (the article only discusses women) supposedly have sex more often and switch partners more frequently than women of different hair colour...

Good thing I didn't know yet yesterday (had my hair cut and dyed in lovely copper and dark brown), cause I don't know in which way this little 'fact' would have influenced my choice of colour. Botch choosing for or avoiding the 'evil colour' (The Village) could prove to be advantageous, depending on your mood... or absence of mood ;-)

Many elements are to be considered: red hair potentially attracts more... but for the wrong reason.. and which type of person? It might cause a nuisance and nobody likes that. Coming over too strong might scare the interesting ones away. Conclusion: don't get your hair dyed red and if you have red hair, maybe it's time to consider a different shade :-)

An important factor is the absence or presence of a boy- or girlfriend (let's be open-minded!). Do we wish to add to the attraction we have on him or her? Is our plan to have a magnetic effect on new candidates?

Whatever causes your attractiveness (or lack of it), the tricky thing remains the selection process. Everyone who's been single for a while has a mental list of qualities (intelligence, humour, sociability, empathy, looks, an open mind... not necesserly in that order) that could make or break a person's chances of a romantic connection to you. But to what extent should we keep to this list? I suppose, when it feels right, the list doesn't matter anymore.

But watch out! Don't make the mistake I think many a woman might have already made in the past: starting a thing with a trustworthy and loyal friend. This can't go well. Because what is the difference between friends and 'partners'? Right, physical attraction. Lack of this vital element will usually lead to future troubles.

We might not all want children (smart idea when you look at the world population), even though we're biologically ment to have them. Our natural drive is to identify and win over a compatible partner. One with genes that mix well with our own. This depends on blood type, kind of immune system and so on. Every human being instinctively sences wether the other one holds the necessary building stones. We subconciously smell it. Pheromones, baby.

Judging others' potential for partnerhood is ever so tiring. The simplest option remains staying single :-) No hassle, no struggle, no doubt. Just a little lonely once in a while. That's where friends come in.

Let out the dog in you

News that satisfies multiple fields of interest is the best kind.
The release of the new Eidos game 'Reservoir dogs', one of Tarantino's most inginuous works and according to most guys his best (i've noticed that girls, including yours truly, prefer pulp fiction) sure stirred up some emotion. The kind depending on the receiving end.

Gamers are probably overjoyed, movie lovers are intrigued, most others are outraged by the nature of the game and the advertising campaign that anounces it. I am thoroughly amused by the commercials.

Check out the article on advalvas and click through to see the spots on youtube.

Have a nice f*cking day!